In this article we will discuss one reality almost every man and woman absolutely dread, preparing our kids for the apocalypse, and keeping them alive after the shit hits the fan. I’ve never sugar coated articles, and this will be no different, so if you’re not ready to read this I’ll completely understand. I will give you all a hard dose of reality, some preparedness tips, techniques to keep your kids alive after doomsday, and some more brutal honesty. Now that you’ve all been duly informed, let’s proceed…
It’s almost universally accepted we are hardwired to instinctively protect our children, and others’ children too, but it’s actually more than instinctual, it’s biologically instinctual. In fact, Oxford University did a study showing the reaction time in the orbitofrontal cortex part of our brains when seeing a child and a human in distress isn’t even comparable, it showed we physically respond to children in distress without even thinking about, or letting instinct kick in, while seeing a human in distress triggered compartmentalized action. Basically, unless you’re a subhuman degenerate, kids will always come first!
Nothing new, right? To be honest, I didn’t state the above for us parents, it’s for those of you who haven’t been blessed with the beautiful curse of having children. Why? Mutual understanding. If you’re a part of a group that has kids and you try to go against that grain, you will find yourself alone, without supplies, and if the kids get hurt because of your actions…you’ll end up dead. If you’re not the type of guy who puts women and kids in the lifeboat first, a group with kids might not be the best for you.
Cautionary Preamble for Prepping Kids
Before you go spray painting your kids face with camo, stuffing MREs down their throats, and throwing them under barbwire, while popping smoke and black cats at their feet, let’s think about this for a second. We’ve talked a few times about turning your kids into preppers without scaring the living shit out of them, and this is no exception. Being a parent is tough, being a parent that believes in preparedness, self-sustainability, or The Constitution is damn near impossible in this CPS and guardian ad litem Nazi Era. Hell, even though our beliefs are logical, responsible, and morally sound, we’re the crazy ones in their eyes. Moral of the story, we have to prepare our kids for the shit to hit the fan discretely.
Luckily, you have your old buddy Administrator Ryan to guide you through the muddy waters of the state’s watchful eyes. Just so you know I’m not some childless sycophant lecturing you on youth preparedness, I have two daughters who’ve been being prepared for five years. Luckily, my X-wife and I have always thought alike about many things including preparedness, so getting her on board wasn’t hard. For those of you who have to deal with Mr. or Mrs. Vindictive you’ll have to be just as equally discrete with them as you are with the state, unless this is that one thing you agree on. If you’re divorced being aware of your spouse’s feelings is very important. You don’t want to end up in court with Little Susie telling the Judge “Daddy said I have to know how to kill a man with my thumb when the world ends.”….
Discrete Kid Prepper Training
The goal here is to prepare your kids for the apocalypse without your kids, or spouse knowing they’re being trained for the end of times. Genius, right? The trick is to keep your beliefs to yourself for the time being. As long as you don’t accompany these activities with a prepper narrative, no one can label you a lunatic. Luckily, there are several activities that can prepare a kid for the apocalypse that almost all parents can agree on while avoiding unwanted attention that include, but are not limited to;
- judo — in my opinion the best martial artis for kids to learn allowing them to use the attacker(s) bodyweight against them
- camping — allows the opportunity to teach bushcrafting, firestarting, shelter building, identifying edible plants, while banning all technology
- fishing — taking the kids out teaching them how to catch fish, gut, scale, and cook their food is an requisite skill for everyone to have
- hunting — again learning the circle of life is very important, and teaching your kids how to field dress big game could save their life down the road
- running — running and exercising with your kids is a great way of keep you and your kids endurance high
While there are activities like the ones listed above that aren’t outside the realm of normal behavior, there are activities that are considered abnormal and should be judged on a case by case basis accounting for factors like; spousal approval, state and county political ideologies, and school involvement. There are groups, and events that no prepper should be a part of lest ye want the watchful eye upon you that includes;
- Girl Scouts & Boy Scouts — not only have these organizations been turned into over politicized profiteering child labor camps, but they are breeding grounds for parental interference putting someone between you and your children
- militia training camps — if your kid isn’t at least 16 years old he or she has no business at a militia training camp, which is why every email we receive asking to bring their kids are responded to negatively
- extreme religious organizations — having you or your kids a part of a church or religious group that is way too extreme like saying ‘Dancing is a sin’ makes it way too easy to label you
- public school — surely I know it’s far too difficult for many of us to home school our children, but if you have the opportunity or financial means to do so then by all means I surely encourage home schooling or private/charter schools
Turning your kid into a prepper is one of the most responsible things you can do as a parent, and in my opinion it is a moral obligation. Far too many children are being raised to be victims and nothing less, an entire generation of slaves. Your children are the only thing to carry on your genetic code after you die, and it’s your responsibility to ensure they are fully prepared to not only survive on their own, but to thrive. The greatest decision I’ve ever made was teaching my two daughters survivalism, preparedness, and firearms. What I learned is that training your children must be done in steps…
Teaching your kids firearms…
The first thing I did with my kids is I took the mystery out of firearms, by removing the magazine, clearing the chamber, and explaining what guns were, what they do, how they work with some serious cautionary tales. Most kids are enamored with the idea of guns specifically because they are ‘off limits’, not to mention how cool they look to kids when they watch T.V. shows, and movies. Then after explaining to them what guns were, I took them out back where we have a makeshift range with a backstop and setup some fruit downrange, and shot each, and as the fruit exploded into a million little pieces I could see my kids faces turn from amazement to understanding. With their faces turned stern I told them ‘If this was another person, they would be dead, which is why you must learn how to use these before you touch them.’, and they both understood.
Then, I gave each of my girls cute pink Daisy B.B. guns that I etched their names into (they tend to get territorial over stuff). With these BB guns I taught them standard firearm safety rules, loading, sighting, and etc. Each took a turn and shot at their targets with groupings you’d expect from a couple of kids. Every weekend we’d all train, focusing on getting better, and when my oldest daughter turned 8, she was the first to try our little Ruger 10/22, and I was exceptionally happy with the utter amount of respect she showed the rifle. Her little sister was only slightly upset that she couldn’t use it yet, but she knew it was because of her age and size. It was that year of training leading up to my oldest turning 8 that trained her to have that profound respect for the rifle, and I’ll tell you what, she had some pretty good groupings for her first time with a real rifle. Moral of the story, teach them young, or pay the price later.
Teaching kids survivalism…
In today’s PopTart culture, it’s hard to get your kids to understand anything outside the realm of a thirty second spasmodic cartoon commercial of a dinosaur skating on a unicorn’s head shooting glitter everywhere, so your task is not an easy one. That’s why I can’t truly emphasize the need for you the parent not to make survivalism a chore, but a fun activity your children will learn from. This means don’t be a psychopath telling your kids ‘You better learn this or you’ll end up with a pike through your tiny skull in front of a wasteland raider’s shack town!’, seriously, chill out. I’ve probably already said this to you guys more than once, but do not rob your children of their childhood! That being said, teaching survivalism to your kids should be done based on priority; water, fire. shelter, and food.
We all know the rule of three, 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter in harsh environments, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, and this is where you should start with teaching your kids survivalism. The trick with my daughters is bribery. One day I sat them down eat dinner, which is when we talk about a million things and I said..
‘Girls, do you know the rule of three?’ They both shook their heads and I explained..
‘Did you know you can only survive 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter in harsh environments, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food?’ They both shook their heads again as they said ‘No’ in their patented brat tones, to which I replied…
‘When people don’t remember that they die.’ I made sure not to personalize it because I had no intentions of scaring them.
‘So here’s the deal’ I said leering at both of them ‘the next time I ask what the rule of 3 is and you can remember it, I will let whoever gets it right the first time pick where we eat’ an idea both of them would love since Sonic is their crack and either way I win.. to which I followed up with..
‘So what’s the rule of 3?’ to which my oldest (who is somewhat of a prodigy) sprang out of her seat and recited every single rule to finish off by saying ‘and 3 seconds if we don’t get to go to Sonic tonight, Daddy!’
As simple as that I created an engine to get them to remember something incredibly important, and created competition to see who’d answer it right the fastest. Since then, I’ve done this to them with several different survival factoids, and even got them to remember the Mozambique drill. As a parent you need incentive, competition, and value to teach your children important things, while masking the seriousness of the knowledge.
Teaching Survival While Camping
If the shit were to hit the fan today, do you feel comfortable that your kid(s) would be able to locate potable water that wouldn’t kill them within 3 days? Hell, I know it’s a very cryptic thing to say but about 99.9% of the children I’ve been in contact with through social and work acquaintances will not survive outside 24 hours. Kids these days simply aren’t taught how to be self sufficient, with their mothers pandering to their every need, and their fathers either completely checked out or too scared (and prideful) to discipline their children in fear of turning out like their old man. Tough cookies, the kids aren’t going to be alright and they need to be taught to survive!
Luckily, water is one of the easier things to teach a kid about. If you’re not camping with your kids at least once a month you’re already failing them, because camping is where you can teach the basics of survival like finding potable water, filtering water, and etc. Get out of the house and go camping! And yes, I do know for some people it’s pretty hard to do, especially in mid-western desert areas like Southern Nevada, but you must find time.
The first two or three times I took my girls camping I made sure to show them how to do everything I was doing. While I taught them I made sure to say ‘One time when we go camping I’m going to let you two do it, and if you can do it without my help we’ll go to Target and get you a new Barbie’ (yes I bribe my children all the time). The very simple things I taught them included;
- finding a suitable campsite
- finding potable water
- setting up the tent
- digging latrines
- making a water filter
- fire starting methods
Like all things with children you have to be patient and understanding. Be meticulous in your explanation, while not being so insufferably boring you lose their attention. Kids dig positive enforcement and momentum, so when you explain things you have to sound motivated and excited. And for the love of god don’t scorn them for not getting it right the first time, they’re kids!
Teaching your Kids Shelter Building
The coolest thing about teaching your kids about building shelter is it’s not too far outside the realm of normal behavior for kids. When I was a kid we’d go into the Kentucky backwoods (i.e. the backyard) and build forts every weekend. You don’t have to go camping to teach your kids shelter building if you live in a wooded rural area. Take your kids out back every weekend and teach them the basics of a good shelter; compact, off the ground, well insulated, waterproof thatching, and how to use local foliage.
Just like everything else, you can make shelter building into a competition with rewards and incentive, whoever gets theirs built first or is the most sturdy wins ‘fill in the blank’. As long as your kids think it’s a game and not a chore they’ll always want to build a shelter faster and more sturdy then before. Does this mean you can point at the woods and say ‘Go build’, grunt, and walk away? Absolutely not! This activity, like all others in this guide should be done as a family, and not an excuse for you to go drink a six-pack and watch the game by yourself. Come on guys..
Hunting and Fishing
Fishing has been around since man’s been on two feet. Try to make camping a regular activity for your family, teaching your kids the many techniques of fishing; netting, lures and bobbers, spearfishing, angling, and etc. Keep in mind, death is a touchy subject to kids and should be explained in a very black and white way. Don’t beat around the bush. Explain to your kids that for us to live we have to eat animals, bla, bla, bla. They always understand, and when they catch their first fish they’ll understand the great cycle even more when you have them gut it. No matter how touchy the subject, they have to learn how life works.
By now your kids should know the basic firearm safety, and should be able to get some decent groupings with a little 22 rifle. If you feel your kid(s) are responsible enough to go hunting then by all means you should start taking them with you to hunt; deer, turkey, small game, and etc. Teaching your kids how to track game, hunt, field dress, and cook their kill is probably one of the most useful skills you are going to teach them out of everything else.
Kids and Preparedness
Preparedness is often over-complicated by people like us, because we want to be perfect preppers, developing strategies and preparing for any possibility. We want to have a plan for everything! Hell, I’m sure some of you even have a contingency plan for when Earth is invaded by cannibal aliens from outer space. Right? Kids don’t need to know all that shit. A simple ‘we are preparing for an emergency’ explanation will suffice. Teaching your kids preparedness will instill values that will help throughout their adult life.
- Tell your kids about the four pillars of preparedness; water, food, energy, and finances. Have your kids pick the items they want in their bug out bag, and why those items are good to have and not good to have
- Teach your kids about money, precious metals, the importance of wealth, and for God’s sake, please teach your kids how to balance a damn checkbook
- Have your kids store water in food in their closets letting them pick the food they want so they don’t end up with a closet full of Cheerios when they’d prefer Frosted Flakes
As parents we have a lot of responsibilities. We have to wake our offspring up at the crack of dawn, feed them something nutritious, slap pseudo-matching clothes on them, while making sure they are at somewhat presentable to the world, and that’s just the beginning. We have to make sure they come out decent human beings, lest the world think what savages we must have created. But out of all the things the world thinks we should teach them, teaching them to be able to survive anything is the greatest gift we can give our children, so when the world goes to shit it is they who will inherit the world, and hopefully make it a better place, getting right what we got wrong…
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